Tuesday, March 23, 2010

The delayed Adventure continues

Well, I haven’t written anything about my progress with Astral Projection in … what … 10 weeks? I’m actually still doing the exercises from Week 1 Day 1 (which would make this Week 1, Day 1, Week 10?). It turns out that this adventure has uncovered many other issues that are worthy of a detour. The main one: a relaxed body is the first prerequisite for achieving any kind of conscious astral state, and a chronically angry or perpetually irritated person’s body is not very relaxed.

I figured that I would extend the 90 days to however-long-it-takes, and begin meditating on a more regular basis, and relaxing/destressing in general, in order to allow myself to become a more relaxed person. Although the phrase is a bit hackneyed, the joy really is in the journey; the real meat of this is in the preparation - in the journey from a person prone to stressing out to a more relaxed person. I would prefer that any astral experiences I might have happen naturally and easily, rather than forcibly only in order to achieve an end.

Habitually, I fall asleep in front of the TV, so I don't prepare myself for sleep in any conscious way. Added to which, my sleep cycles are a bit erratic – some nights I sleep 6 hours, some others 4, some others hardly any hours at all – which is probably the result of a constantly-churning mind. It seems prudent to begin to  spend time during the day deliberately ‘letting go,’ either in meditation or simple deep breaths. Since I started this addventure in January, I have been meditating more frequently. I usually wake up on the sofa from my television-induced stupor around 2:30 or so in the morning, and I move to the bedroom and meditate for about 90 minutes.

Then I thought I would take the whole thing up a notch. Starting today, I’m putting myself on a television fast – 30 days at first, which should take me to April 20. I’ll use the time that I would have normally spent staring at the television, or having it staring at me, to read something useful or inspiring. I have quite a few books on my to-read list so there should be no want of something to do.


The first day of my television fast was not entirely successful. Taking advantage of a little loophole I created in my definition – watching DVDs is okay, since, it’s not really television – I put on the a DVD of Glenda Jackson’s Elizabeth R. The result was that I fell asleep while watching it and awoke at 12:47 in the morning with the tune from the opening flash screen insinuating itself into my dreams. I got up off the sofa and went to bed (sounds familiar?), and then spent the second, mostly sleepless night in a row.

So, with the exception of anything spiritual or uplifting (and historical dramas usually aren’t either), no TV … at all.

What am I trying accomplish? A shift in my vibration; an improved default feeling. I believe that it is entirely possible to feel joy in every moment, and the only thing that prevents me from experiencing that are awful feelings that I've accumulated in my 43 years so far. How could I induce a feeling of joy right now?

Well, what are some of the things on my Want-To-Have List - my 30-day trip to the Antarctic is one which, by itself, represents many other things on my list as well. How would I feel that first day as I leave for the airport? How would I feel on the day I book the trip? How would I feel as I start planning? How would I feel as all the required things that would make this trip pleasurable begin falling into place? How would I feel on seeing the first ice shelf, or on seeing the aurora australis or the Midnight Sun for the first time? All of those feelings are available to me right now via my imagination.

I am beginning to wonder whether the concepts of past, present, and future will become irrelevant at some point in the future. In the larger reality, there is only one time: NOW. Whatever I think of – whether it’s a past event, or a present situation, or a future projection – I’m thinking of it now, and activating feelings and other thoughts, and other feelings about that past, present, or future now. Suppose that all the moments of my life – my entire past, my present, and my entire future – were occurring now, in this moment, in infinite parallel realities, and I, by my intention and attention, could activate any one of an infinite number of possible now’s. Could it be that in a parallel reality, I am, at this moment, on the Antarctic trip enjoying every moment of it, and could I, by thinking of that particular reality, bring myself to that reality that is already existing?

I’ve already noticed little changes since I’ve been meditating and ‘letting go.’ Last night while I lay sleepless in bed, memories upon memories from my childhood floated up, mostly unpleasant, that have probably been churning away for years and years. As best I could, I released them as they came into my conscious mind. I’ve been using my mantra a lot – I created this, and it’s okay. I believe that releasing these memories is also going to release so much energy - energy that I've been using to keep them churning - and I’m going to be able to use this energy to create wellness in every area of my life.

According to Abraham, quantam shifts aren’t possible. Shifts happen in the small steps that we take from one NOW to the next. How am I feeling now? Is there any unpleasant thought that I’m holding on to for whatever reason? Can I let it go? Is there any vague negative feeling that I can’t really articulate, but can feel? Can I breathe into it? Can I imagine the negative feeling beginning to dissipate like a mist? Is it still there? Is it less or more? Am I worried about not being able to articulate it? Can I accept that I don’t have to put it into words to begin to let it go? Can I accept that I can use my imagination to visualize the wind of my breath breaking up this dark cloud of emotion? Can I accept that whatever I can do with this emotion today is enough, and that I’m really on my way to figuring this out, and mastering this? Can I accept that everything’s alright?